Ownership vs. Stewardship

~~EUM Church in Greenville, Ohio hosts a Parent Support Group on Wednesday evenings. One of the topics we discuss is the concept of being a steward for God over our children, rather than the prevailing cultural attitude of parental ownership. When understood and embraced, the mindset of stewardship changes everything!

Respectfully and honestly praying for you, Dear Parents,
Mimi

Parenting Blog Ownership vs. Stewardship

One summer after lunch, I was walking back to the Children's Services office where I worked. I passed a block of apartments and heard some rowdy menacing voices. In the yard, not ten feet from the sidewalk were two young couples, men growling and waving their arms at each other; the women each with a baby on the hip and a toddler by the hand – the women both yelling and egging on the men.

I was quite surprised to see this unusual scene in our quiet middle-class town. I felt immediate concern for the safety of the children. I knew it was traumatic for young children to even witness abuse or violence, let alone, the physical danger, should this argument escalate.

Yes, of course, I stuck my nose in their business! I asked the women to consider taking the kids inside until everyone cooled down. One of the young women approached me with defiance spitting from her eyes, “This kid is mine. I'm the one who takes care of her, not you! I pay for whatever she needs; you don't! I can do whatever I want and you can't tell me what to do – I own her!” I said quietly, “You do not own her; she belongs to God, but you would do well to protect her for Him.” She cursed me, threw up her head and grabbed the arm of her gal friend and growled, “Let's go inside.”

As I walked away, it occurred to me that I have seen many people act as if their children were their property, but I had not heard such an admission before. Psalm 127:3; Exodus 13:2; Luke 2:23 and chapter 18:16

Ownership of a person (husband, wife, friend, or even your own child) is slavery. Slavery, in this country, was condemned and outlawed many years ago. However, stewardship is a position of trust. A steward is authorized and responsible to care for the highest valuables of another. Matthew 25:14-30.

When we parents purposefully consider our children as precious gifts from God and we understand that His will for them is to be “reared in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), then we will sense His leading and support in every child-rearing question or challenge we have. ~~

I attended a funeral today. :( An older couple; car accident; killed instantly. Tragedy. Children, grans, great-grans, friends, neighbors, the home church - everyone together to cry and say good-bye. But the stories told at the funeral were all about "Mom and Dad." Funny stories, endearing, hopeful, silly, satisfying stories. Stories that said, "we'll miss you terribly but you did your jobs - we are grown and healthy and established in your love and in God's."

Today, I pray for you, young parents, :) that when you are grandmas and grandpas, your families will be firmly established in your wise discipline, your expressed love and in God's love.

Amen from Mimi

Parenting Blog What Child is This?

As parents, we soon learn that we certainly don't have Baby Jesus on our lap! However, our respect and curiosity for the common stages and ages our children will pass through may highlight the mystery, beauty, and challenges that even the Lord Jesus, as a child, lived in this life.

Too many parents expect that a three-foot-tall walking, talking personality should understand and respond to life events the way adults do. However, the expectation of adult rationale and behaviors from a young child or even from a teenager, is profoundly unrealistic.

When you got your first car or home or computer or whatever newest techno-communicator is advertised today, you probably treated it with some level of wonder and respect. You probably tried to figure it out, learn about the capabilities of the item or it's peculiarities. You probably learned some things by trial and error. You may even have secretly read a manual. Hopefully, you cared for your items and they benefited you. Of course, a child is so much more than the things you own (another blog will be about “ownership vs. stewardship”), but you see the necessity of building understanding into nearly any relationship.

I learned in a human services course once that “a lack of understanding of child development is one of the top three triggers of child abuse.” That is sobering! We certainly do not have to study college courses on child development to be able to become good parents, as much as we must take the time to study our own children. Be assured, your child is constantly studying you; will you also study him?

Discipline comes from the word “disciple” which means “one who studies; one who is a follower, a believer.” When you discipline your children does it come from reactive anger or from a strategic corrective plan? Do you prayerfully study the situation and your child's role in it as part of your discipline?

Observe, listen, learn, love, guide, correct, protect, enjoy and pray – all keystones to great parenting. Ephesians 5:1-2 and 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8.

This is the very first-ever blog of this 50-something grandma! (see, I don't even know yet how to turn off the underline!!) Perhaps, I'll learn how to fancy-up this blog with pictures and links and such...or maybe not! I am not on Facebook or Twitter to my daughter-in-law's chagrin; I don't text and don't miss it. And, I only use my old flip phone for...well, a phone!

But, I know parenting and I know children and I know God's will is to bless families. I have written (with pen and paper!!) parenting curriculum and taught parenting classes for courts and churches for many years. I have a passion and an annointing for families, even yours.

Now, I'll share a bit with you per this new-fangled blog. Thanks to EUM Church, Greenville, Ohio for helping me get started.

Be assured that I pray for every reader, so today, I'm praying for you!

Love You (yes, I do),

Mimi (Grandkids call me this treasured name!)

Parenting Blog - No Whining

Good parents know the difference between a cry of pain or fear and the maddening whine!

Most of us get irritated, some too easily, at the sound of a whining child. Have you ever heard (or said), “Stop that whining or I'll give you something to whine about.” Of course, this is usually just a parent's tired effort to warn the child we are weary of that mode of communication.

Here's a couple tactics may help avoid or cut off whining quickly: Stop what you are doing, get eye level with the child, quietly ask her to use her words and explain her discomfort. If she's too young to speak, calmly check the friction points of most humans: temperature, wet or dry, tired, hungry, thirsty, sad or mad. And here's one: uncomfortable clothing. You may be surprised how straightening that wrinkled and “biting” sock may relieve a toddler!

But this blog isn't about a whining child, but the whining parent. (Where do you think kids hear whining in the first place?) Since parental authority seems to be out of style these days, you often hear an exasperated and exaggerated sigh, “Da-a-a-arlin' will you pleaeaease listen to me!” You can almost hear the parents' eyeballs rolling in their heads! How many times do you beg your child to obey before you expect her to?

A variation of whining is asking a child's permission to give parental direction.

“Go brush your teeth, OK?”

“Stop hitting your sister, OK?”

“Why don't you buckle your seat belt for daddy?”

“Do you feel like... is it on your schedule... may I interrupt your important little life to implore...???”

Parents, give up the whining! Give wise instructions to your children with calm authority. Expect her obedience. Your kids need your leadership not your friendship! Time enough for that when the kids are 30!

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right and you shall have a long life on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:30